Polyhedral dice: a threat to free societies

March 9th, 2005  |  Tags:  |  4 Comments

Thanks to Eli for sending a link to an article claiming that the Israeli army gives a lowered security clearance to fantasy gamers in its ranks. (He also points out that you don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that a bunch of unwashed goons carrying swords and talking about casting spells are, as the article asserts, probably “detached from reality.”)

The article is worth reading for hilarious pictures of goofballs with ”medieval“ weapons, numerous breathless ”talkbacks“ from inarticulate defenders of fantasy gaming, and stern institutional denunciations like the following:

”These people have a tendency to be influenced by external factors which could cloud their judgment, a military official says. “They may be detached from reality or have a weak personality — elements which lower a person’s security clearance, allowing them to serve in the army, but not in sensitive positions.”

Imagine the risks: a soldier could spill his guts to an Elvish tavern wench, compromising ongoing operations! A classified training manual might be stolen by a wily leprechaun! Someone might be turned to stone at a critical moment!

Of course, the worst risk of all is that your army might be populated with D&D-playing dorks with “weak personalities” who are “detached from reality.” I mean, every country neighboring Israel is hostile to it, so there’s really no need for a fifth column of nerds taking orders from the Orcish Prince. If you lived there, would you feel safer if you knew that some guy who calls himself “Sir Nightblade” was allowed to walk around with an Uzi?