free variable

Madison locals may recognize some of the principals involved in this blogspot site; it is certain to bring joy and mirth to fans of approximately 97% of NFL franchises. It’s easy to hate the Patriots and the masturbatory prose spilled daily in their general direction. When the Patriots are the subject of NFL commentary — and, let’s be honest, when are they not? — words like “dynasty” and “genius” get thrown around like they were red-tagged at the Noun Outlet.

However, this Super Bowl presents a serious quandary for most football fans: do you root against the overhyped AFC team, or do you root against the overhyped NFC team? The Eagles may have a higher media-jocking loudmouth quotient than any other team in professional sports (even if you consider last year’s Heimlich-inducing, borderline criminal LA Lakers). Furthermore, one can’t overestimate the schadenfreude potential of seeing endless SportsCenter footage of Philadelphia’s classless, overweight, and brutish fans despairing at a loss. (These are the same fans who inspired the construction of a courthouse and jail in the old Vet.)

I’m hoping this one gets decided by a safety in overtime. Lots of interceptions, lots of blown routes, ubiquitous missed tackles, and perhaps not a few minor but unpleasant injuries. As far as I care, it could go either way, as long as the game is bad enough to preclude either “dynasty” or “destiny” from appearing in any postgame commentary.